I want out of this 10 year marriage, Help!?
I hate my husband and I want out. I married my husband in 2000 because we loved each other at the time and we both wanted to live in each others countries without having to leave. It was the night of our marriage and we got in some fight, over nothing, and he told me he wanted a divorce. Total shock. That was just the start. Since then there have been bouts of physical and mental abuse for 10 years. He has not had a stable income or job since I met him. I started an exportation business from his country 2 years after we married to help with money and not depend on him to take care of me. Needless to say it took years for this company to make good money. In the meantime I got an inheritance of $200,000 and bought a land in his country and put the rest in savings. We traveled back and forth from each other countries but nothing ever worked out for us, especially after the baby was born. He was satisfied to work pizza and live below the poverty level and live off my inheritance in Hawaii, all while abusing me mentally and physically when he felt the need. Finally, I realized I needed a place and a plan of my own, as later we were living in a house owned by his parents (in Brazil to save money). I took my inheritance and built two homes in his country, Brazil, one to live and one to rent. Although the money was not enough to finish the two homes, my business which I have been taking care of finally started to make money, $40,000 in the last 10 months. So, I used that to finish. He finally got some money from his parents, and invested 15% into the total I invested. Well, I want out of this marriage desperately, and he now wants half of my earnings (which he wont get anymore) and half of my homes. He just wants me to hand over a R$ 350,000 home I built for my daughter and me, that he invested only 75,000, minus the fact I have been supporting the family for the last 5 years minimum, because of my inheritance. He only works with my business because I work, if I stopped working tomorrow he would not have his entire 5 hour work week anymore. I told him, not only do I quit, but he's fired. I told him I'm not giving him my home but he can have the money from the rental second home for 2 years, (so he can organize his life) and I will not charge him child alimony if he releases his rights to both homes. I'm just looking out for my daughter and sick of supporting an ungrateful abusive husband. I want out!
Marriage & Divorce - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
If you are in an abusive marriage. just leave him. what is holding you back?
2 :
GET OUT NOW. this is not a healthy relationship.
3 :
sounds like you got "played" and you need a good lawyer....
4 :
You will be bound by the laws of the place where you got married. In the United States if the tables were turned and it was the woman seeking half of the man's fortune she'd probably get it even if she did nothing to earn it. It's the "what's mine is yours" conception of marriage. You should make your decision about divorce irrespective of the money and fight for your rights in the court. That's pretty much all you can do about that aspect, unless you can work out an amenable distribution of assets with your husband before you make it to court. In that later scenario you will probably have to be more generous with him than you would like to forego the courts that will likely take more of it than that. Get a lawyer though. S/he will guide you better than the yahoos who post here, that's for sure.
5 :
I don't know the laws in Brazil, so it's hard to say about a lot of the property issues and so forth. It does sound to me like you are the main bread winner, so I believe you would be paying him alimony if anyone was to pay. And since you are the one with the most interest in all of this, you can support yourself, so I say get out. But before you do, get a good lawyer.
6 :
first i apologize for what you encountered those years in your marriage . you have a very strategic plan very detailed . because judges don't say u take e this and he take that , they back up the argument from the most truthful story . and since you have been through so much you won't have a problem what i will suggest is that you get a damn good lawyer and be ready for anything that hits you because it will be a nasty divorce good luck . God bless
7 :
well I hope things go your way, what an idiot he is,
8 :
How about letting a lawyer handle your case and just get divorced from the guy? You have way too much money and investments to risk losing. I agree that you need to get out, and a lawyer can help you do just that. Your husband sounds like a leech.
9 :
You are going to need a lawyer to figure this out. Probably more than one. In the US a guy with an inheritance spent like that and earnings like that would have to give a lot fo his wife. In Brazil I don't know.
