he makes me feel like the worst mother on earth!?
Im 23 and have a 2 1/2 month old baby, hes everything for me! I do everything to be a good mom, but my husband makes me feel so bad, at first he screamed at me and blames me for not producing enough breast milk, he thinks that I can do something to increase it!! yesturday was my 1st day back at work and when i got home instead of asking me how my day went he screamed at me infront of his mother, he said that it was my fault the baby cried in the afternoon because I gave him directions to feed the baby every 1:30 to 2 hrs. he thinks that everytime the baby cries he should be fed! he also said that hes the one who rules in the house that hes the man etc.. and threatened me and said he would leave to his country brazil and never come back! The other big thing is that he works in construction and makes good money and i dont make too much but he doesnt care he charges me 1/2 the rent, and I pay for health insurace for me & the baby plus daycare wich is sooo expensive, I buy his diapers etc, the only thing I dont pay for is food, and just because he pays for the food it makes him feel like he can do whatever he wants and treat me like crap! at the end of the week I only end up making like $40! Please dont be rude and leave me bad responses, I feel so depressed! and sad!
Marriage & Divorce - 20 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
why did you marry that jerk off in the first place?
2 :
Get out while you can. You're married to a prick.
3 :
So let him go back to his country! Either that or pack up your stuff and go... this man is a piece of $hit..
4 :
U don't need him////
5 :
You are not a bad mother, he is a bad father. He should be able to handle his child when you are not there no matter how young the child is. Personally, he needs to change his attitude or I would leave him. How someone treats you should have nothing to do with how much money they make or how little you make. You would rather feel depressed and upset all the time, just because you don't make enough money????
6 :
It doesn't seem like you're the worst mother on earth at all, but he does seem like one of the worst and least-supportive husbands. As a human being, his wife, and the mother of his child, he should be treating you with dignity and respect. He should be helping provide not just a home with food, but a nurturing, safe, healthy, and comfortable home. Maybe you should seek out a marriage counselor?
7 :
I got pizzed off just reading this. Every woman here will tell you that you need to get away from this AZZHOLE! And they are right in telling you that. By the way, you are a great mom! And I can see you care very much for your child's needs. Never let a man take away your power.
8 :
You are married to a jerk,you know in your heart if you are a good mom.Don't let him make you doubt that.Do you really want to live like this the rest of your life?
9 :
Get out. Now. Call 1-800-799-SAFE. Make sure to mention that your husband has threatened to run off with your baby permanently out of the country. You said your baby is everything for you. If you stay with this monster, you are risking everything.
10 :
I know that this is really hard for you and I know that you probably still have feelings for him but I think he may be taken things too far. I think that a marriage should be a relationship of trust and understanding. He doesn't seem to understand a lot of things. You need to talk to him about the way you are feeling, that you aren't happy with the direction the relationship has been going and you would like to make some changes. If he won't even listen to you, then I think that you should go to your family and friends for help. Good Luck and remember that you and your baby are the most important.
11 :
U have deribe a very abusive man who cruel and a very manipulative person i seek legal aid and get advice you also need to be careful he does not try taking ur son out of the country I think he proved he does not love you and you really be better with out him i also think he be a terrible abusive father so think things throw if you could go and stay with ur parents i do that but you need to go get advice now there also women's shelters i wish you well keep in touch ive been through this with the psychical violence as well i wish i left sooner to save the suffering of my kids
12 :
Why in the hell would you marry an azzhole like this in the first place? You are better off without him...You would be a fool to stay with him expecting him to change....Let him go back to Brazil...In fact help him pack his chit!
13 :
Honey I'm going through the same exact thing and you know what I did I let him leave. What's the point of keeping him around if he's going to be that way to you. I don't want my 3 year old son to learn that it's ok to treat people the way his dad treats me. It's not a good home to raise him. He left a week ago and as soon as I can I'm going to make for damn sure he pays child support. I know it's going to be hard raising my son alone, but honestly it's a lot better than staying in a house in which I was not being respected. I know I did the right thing for my son in the long run.
14 :
Your husband is controlling, and this is wrong. There are so many things to comment on, but I'll take them one at a time. First things first. You have NO control over how must breast milk your body produces. It's not your fault if you produce way too much or not nearly enough. I'm sorry your husband doesn't understand that, and blames you for things you have no control over. Secondly, every time a baby cries it does not need to be fed. There are many reasons why a baby cries. A baby can cry because it's hungry, it needs a change, it's tired, it wants attention/to be held, acid reflux, etc. You should sit down with your husband and explain this to him, and maybe even possibly purchase a book about babies so your husband can understand them a little better -- it's not his fault, he's just uneducated on the topic. Now, the verbal abuse is definitely not okay, and you'll want to nip that in the bud immediately because that is NOT something you want your child around. Children that are in verbally abusive homes have lower self esteem and typically act out. Do you want your child growing up thinking it's okay to scream at people when they're angry? No. You want your child to have respect for his/her fellow man. The money issue is absolutely ludacris to me. Why do you and your husband not have joint finances? He shouldn't be "charging" you anything -- if my husband ever "charged" me for something I'd laugh right in his face! The two of you should have a joint bank account, and all of your paychecks should go right into that each week. Both of you need access to the family money, because that's what it is, FAMILY money. There shouldn't be a yours and mine, only ours. Your husband needs to get a grip -- even if the two of you DO decide to keep your finances separate (which I don't think is a good idea) then there is no way you should be paying half of the bills when he makes that much more than you. You need to divide things equally based on the amount of income you have, not just strictly 50/50. You need to sit down and have a serious talk with your husband. He needs to have a major attitude change and it needs to happen immediately. If he's going to continue to abuse you in such a way, I would suggest leaving him and raising the baby on your own. Your child would be better off in a one-parent household than a 2 parent household with this much drama and stress. Good luck. And you're not a bad mother, just remember that.
15 :
Your husband has issues!! Let him take his as s back to Brazil and beg him not to come back, because you deserve better. Clearly he has no respect for you and treats you like a roommate. You only have one child. You can make it! I promise you can. There are too many resources out there for single moms to survive. Let the state help you until you can get on your feet. They will even pay for daycare. I would cuss his as s out and head for the door. That is just ridiculous and the baby needs a more stable environment. You don't need this extra stress as a mother.
16 :
wow what a jerk no offense. but I wouldn't tolerate that. Why is he screaming about a baby that doesn't know any better?? I feel bad for you because that has to be a hard life to live everyday with someone who is power hungry (thats what it sounds like at least from what you said about him saying that hes the man and the one who rules the house). If I were you I would either try and work it out with him and let him know that either things go a certain way or you're leaving. I know it sounds scary to leave but do you honestly want you or your child living with him in that type of environment?? I hope everything works out well for you :)
17 :
*HUGS!!* Having a new baby is hard enough, and you don't need to be abused. How he's treating you isn't right. If you ever feel like you or your baby is in danger, look in the phone book, and find the phone number for domestic violence help, or call the National Domestic Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. There are resources available to help you! If you feel you're in immediate danger, grab your baby, run to a safe place and call 911! If you're having breast feeding/milk production problems, get in touch with your local La Leche League, kellymom.com, or google galactagogues. There are many things you can do to help your milk production. Eat some oatmeal, it really helps! You don't need to be abused, and your baby deserves a happy loving home, and a happy mom. :)
18 :
It really dosent sound like your very happy with him you need to concider what is best for you because if you dont have anything left inside to give yourself then how are you going to give your child happiness...Think about that....
19 :
Listen honey..I feel bad for you. I really do. But common! I think you know what you need to do since you have already rationalized the fact that you don't make much money and things would be tough if you left. Leave him. He will not change! Go to your local court house and see if you qualify for assistance. Create an application for child support and get the hell out. Go to friends, go to family...do what you can. Honestly, any man that can scream at his wife for nto producing enough milk is NOT a man.
20 :
u sound like a great mum ur husband sounds like a jerk.. if u can coke without him leave... if you can't then gget some support... good luck x hope i helped x
